Campfire Blog

Earthspeak: EPA Sponsors ‘Six Word Essay Contest’

The EPA: Ridiculous Waste Of Resources (six words).

It looks like the Environmental Protection Agency is morphing into a trendy, poetry-slamming English department. The agency, which is enjoying “unprecedented power” according to a North Carolina congresswoman, must get depressed issuing so many job-killing regulations. So they’ve created an uplifting “essay” contest to “celebrate the environment.”

And in the true spirit of the Obama administration, where words don’t mean what they seem to mean, the EPA is seeking “essays” that are six words exactly, with no other requirements as long as you don’t offend anyone who doesn’t want to be offended. I’m pretty sure that an essay should probably contain at least one verb. If they were honest about anything, they’d call it a poetry contest.

But poetry is hard work. It’s much easier just to throw out six words about how nice the environment is. This sounds like President Obama’s approach:  Governing is hard work, so just focus on inundating the American people with fluffy rhetoric and everything will be fine. We The Change We Waiting For.

Here is one stirring example, from an EPA official:

Breathe; A moment in nature. Breathe!

I’m considering submitting this (prepare yourself for profundity):

The earth is where I live.

I’m even going to give it a title: “Earth Live.”

You can read more about it on their “Greenversations” blog (476). Yes, Greenversations. What’s wrong with just using regular ol’ words? Does protecting the environment mean we have to talk like four year olds or failed poets trying to get attention at an (organic) coffeehouse open mic night?

Thanks to the Washington Free Beacon for pointing this out (half page/200 words).

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